Adjustment Disorders

WARNING. This post is....a bit raw and so if you don't like consuming things as such please stop reading now. 

Everyone seems to be finding the “one” for them without any trouble.

Others enjoy the lasting companionship of their friends and family.

Forgive me for being ungrateful, but if I were to painfully honest…

I would tell you that despite the illusions of camaraderie in my life…

I feel very alone.  People tell me this is good for me. 

That it is helping me grow…

That I need to get used to being on my own…

That I need to work on me some more…

Well I am growing tired of the growing pains.

I’ve been working on me all summer long. On becoming comfortable with myself. On loving me. 

I pray everyday that this lasting relationship that everybody else seems to have with themselves will happen to me.

SO that even when I am alone I am never really alone, but I ask..

Is it wrong to love people?

…to love having company?

…to love having meaningful conversation?

I just want someone to want to be around me like I want them to be around.

To want to talk to me….like really talk…not just fake, delusional, transparent small talk.

And if working on me being better by myself is the solution than so be it.

I will do whatever it takes, but I contemplate raising a white flag everyday.  

( small...print...Please don’t get me wrong I am working hard and….

I really am making progress with myself, but it is painful progress.

I know what I am going through is necessary. I just can’t wait for it to be over.)

Ok that's enough. 

End of pity party. 

-A little too sincerely,

Emily Sue  

What If....

What if...

Is a question I find myself asking frequently.

Especially as of late. 

I fill in the blank with things such as...

What if...

I didn't transfer to Utah State? 

What if...

 I loved art and hated science? 

What if...

 I had gone to USU my freshman year? 

What if...

 I didn't pursue a Biochemistry degree? 

What if...

 I dropped out? 

What if...

 my parents hadn't got divorced? 

What if...

 I decided to be an author/culinary master and own my own restaurant/bookshop?

What if...

 I had never played soccer?

What if...

 I wasn't LDS? 

What if...What if...What if... 

(the list could go on and on)

At this time in my life...

 marriage announcements fill up the front of my fridge,

replacing the graduation ones that seemed to hang there only yesterday.

My life seems more and more uncertain everyday.

Giving me more and more what if's to ask without any answers. 

Do you ever spend time wondering, "What if?"

OR am I all alone in my crazy thoughts?

Life is but a dream,

Emily Sue

Itsy Bitsy

The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout...

too bad the spider I found crawling in my bathroom this morning was not itsy bitsy

neither was the one I battled in my bedroom last week...

Why can't my apartment be infested with LADY BUGS or potato bugs 

or some other harmless bug

but no....instead we get invaders like this guy we found last week:

not fun. 

So if you aren't fond of sharing your living space with these creatures either...

I have some tips & rules to follow when assassinating them. 

Rule #1: 

If you see it.. DO NOT let it out of your sight..if you do it will disappear somehow somewhere. 

Rule #2:

Do not let it somehow come in contact with you. 

With these in mind here are my tips and tricks..

• If combating a spider on the floor or low on a wall...Spray with hairspray (preferably aerosol) this will immobilize the spider so you can smash it without it running off plus it helps to distance you from it. You can also use any cleaner such as windex or lysol. 
• Also, the vacuum also works well in this situation...use a hose extension to distance yourself from it....and then turn it on and suck it up! Suck up some other things afterwards....you can never be too careful. 
• If it is in the sink or tub....scald it with super hot water 92% of the time this will kill it...the other 8% it cripples it so you can smash it. 
• If it is up high or in some remote corner on your ceiling....hopefully you have a swiffer handy....because these work perfect when combating in this situation if not find some way to get it on the ground or wall and use any of the methods above. 
• If running across the floor or carpet and are wearing shoes...stomping is a good way to do it...
• shoes also work well for general smashing the more flat and the less ridges the better..
• books & magazines also work well, but if you don't want to risk getting guts all over your beloved literature smashing with them is not recommended. 
• IF you just want to generally prevent against encounters with them... don't leave clothes on the floor (they love to hide in them), get some spider traps, vacuum often make sure to get in the corners and behind furniture, don't leave your doors open. 

I apologize if you believe some of the things above are harsh. 

BUT

just remember spiders like to hide in your sheets and bite you when you least expect it

so just think of it as defending yourselves because

FUN FACT: all spiders are indeed poisonous. 

I wish you all luck and may you be safe. 

Love, 

Emily Sue 

Hang in There.

IT's nearing the end of the semester

the stress is sinking in. 

It's crunch time 

and it is crunching me...

But just before I'm about to give in..

A little voice in my head whispers....

Don't you give up

Don't you quit, not yet

You're almost there...

Push through it... 

you're gonna make it..

All you need is 20 seconds...

OF INSANE COURAGE 

and I PROMISE you

something GREAT

will come of it. 

You will succeed. 

The finish line is near. 

You just be sure

to hang in there! 

Good luck everyone! 

You can make it I promise!
 and remember:

Love you all,

Emily Sue Frampton 

For an extra little umph:

Well Hello There.

So.......just stating the obvious... I haven't blogged in a terribly long time. 

I have been beautifully busy.

Life has been great the past few months, 

but

its been like when you're on a merry-go-round 

and 

you're having the time of your life...

but 

its going so fast all the colors 

and 

images go so blurry you don't know where your at.

And

at that glorious moment all you can do is smile. 

Well, I can guarantee you one thing even if I'm stressed I'm smiling cause this semester has been a great one. 

Here's a quick "while I've been gone" run down:

1. Bought an iPad....her name is  Charlie & I love her. 
2. I am staying in Logan this summer to do Biochemistry research & get paid for it...which rocks. But it is my first summer away from home....so I am a little nervous.
3. I was awarded an URCO grant to fund my research. Applying for it and writing the proposal was super stressful, but turned out to be worth it.
4. I am Katniss. Well not really, but I pretend to be sometimes. 
5. I love the people I have met this year and having the time of my life with some of the best people on the planet. 
6. I am playing soccer on a weekly basis again, which is always a good thing. 
7. I eat spinach regularly and make great smoothies with it. Don't believe me...I'll make you one stop by. 
8. Finally rode a tandem bike...my life was made complete. 
9. And....I am still short haven't grown and still slightly crazy so you know things are pretty normal. 

Here is some video documented proof of just what I've been up to. Enjoy. haha

Hope all is going well in your lives!

Love,

Emily Sue

the 1st

Soooo my first Organic Chemistry II exam is tomorrow and I have been studying all week. Last night while at the library, in the way-too-late-for-anybody-to-study hours...we were trying to determine the structures of various organic compounds with (no) help of the conveniently "provided" graphs....and that was when, amidst the frustration,

MEGA BENZENE the 1st was created.. Behold its glory:

it's pretty magnificent...too bad it doesn't actually exist and we had to spend another 20 mins discovering the actual structure. My classmates and I are pretty nervous and tired of studying...contemplating jumping the fourth floor of the library to get out of taking our exam ha.

Well wish me luck...I'm done venting.

How are your semesters going?

Love a very stressed,

Emily Sue

Reset Button.

The Lord is merciful. 

Our lives are constantly filled with second chances and fresh starts.

Whether it is the new beginning we get each morning when we wake up or

the one we get with each new year.  We are constantly being given prospects to improve ourselves and our lives. It's not too late...it is never too late. All we have to do is make up our minds and simply let go. 

Let go of the past. 

Let go of grudges. 

Let go of our mistakes. 

Let go of the mistakes of others. 

Let go of regret.

Let go of the fear.

Failure in the past does not ensure failure in the future.

Chaining yourself to your past can only serve to hold you back. 

This new year I resolve to move FORWARD & I hope you can do the same. 

In whatever way you may need, just simply choose to do it. 

Become who you desire to be.

& remember within each and every day there are 86,400 opportunities (seconds) 

to change your mind, change yourself, change your future, & change your story. 

Love,

Emily Sue

P.S. cliche I thought of....don't hesitate to become great ;) ha

P.P.S.  I plan to "MEET THE CHALLENGE" to become better every chance I get will you? :)