WARNING. This post is....a bit raw and so if you don't like consuming things as such please stop reading now.
Everyone seems to be finding the “one” for them without any
trouble.
Others enjoy the lasting companionship of their friends and
family.
Forgive me for being ungrateful, but if I were to painfully
honest…
I would tell you that despite the illusions of camaraderie
in my life…
I feel very alone.
People tell me this is good for me.
That it is helping me grow…
That I need to get used to being on my own…
That I need to work on me some more…
Well I am growing tired of the growing pains.
I’ve been working on me all summer long. On becoming
comfortable with myself. On loving me.
I pray everyday that this lasting relationship that
everybody else seems to have with themselves will happen to me.
SO that even when I am alone I am never really alone, but I
ask..
Is it wrong to love people?
…to love having company?
…to love having meaningful conversation?
I just want someone to want to be around me like I want them
to be around.
To want to talk to me….like really talk…not just fake,
delusional, transparent small talk.
And if working on me being better by myself is the solution
than so be it.
I will do whatever it takes, but I contemplate raising a
white flag everyday.
( small...print...Please don’t get me wrong I am working hard and….
I really am making progress with myself, but it is painful
progress.
I know what I am going through is necessary. I just can’t
wait for it to be over.)
Ok that's enough.
End of pity party.
-A little too sincerely,
Emily Sue
