P.F.D.

Attention college students:

Where does P.F.D. hurt...

 everywhere (especially on campus).....

Who does P.F.D. hurt....

 college students who care..

My roommate and I have recently diagnosed each other with this devastating disorder called P.F.D., 

which stands for... 

Pre-Finals Depression...

It is warm outside, summer is 2 weeks away, and we are stuck inside slaving over a textbook. 
Symptoms include (but are not limited to): 

• fantasies about giving up on life and running away to the circus
• lapsing into mini-stare comas for over 2 minutes (instead of studying)
• spending more than 20 minutes on facebook and then realizing you have no idea what you're doing
• pushing the snooze button more than 5 times before class
• forgetting your scantron on the day of the exam
• watching glee instead of studying
• finding yourself picking a country playlist
• dreading in filling in small black bubbles
• finding diverse ways to procrastinate (ex. indoor sit-down tennis)
• giving up on dreams and deciding you're just going to be a stay at home mom at 18
• wandering aimlessly around campus
• calling your mom more than 3 times in one day
• losing almost all motivation to do anything especially homework

Causes may include (but are not limited to): attending college, staying in your room studying for over 4 hours, finals week, eating chinese food because you don't want to cook, realizing you have to get a 93% on your final to pass, living in on-campus dorms, watching dancing with the stars, and/or having more than 3 finals.

Please raise awareness to help college students everywhere... cures and treatments must be discovered asap.  

For information, questions, or assistance with this problem please contact: a sympathetic college grad


(fine print: research has shown that being enrolled in college may be the sole cause of the disorder, may go away during the summer and then relapse two weeks before finals week, may possibly be highly contagious, no known cure has been discovered)


-(pre) Dr. Frampton